Ok, think unpleasant thoughts, think unpleasant thoughts. You build a mental image a fat, hairy, sweaty, man. Which works,
You missed a part. He needs to be cutting off his genitalia with a meat cleaver. Works like a charm.
What pissed me off lately?
Having the citywide school district on violent intruder lockdown for over 3 hours due to a " Mentally unstable man barricading himself in his home, resisting arrest, and threatening passerby with an assault-style weapon" a block from my classroom.
Doors locked, windows shut, crowded in corners with the least hygienic alarmists I' ve ever had the misfortune of meeting, smelling socks, ass, weed and hand sanitizer, I' m sitting there, all of which under the jurisdiction of an incredibly inept Romanian substitute who' s fifth language
may have been English.
SWAT teams are called in with an armored car, snipers posted, and even the State Troopers are called in, all surrounding the house.
Meanwhile, I' m sitting there, playing with a friend' s iPod Touch, discussing loudly amongst my friends, who we' re going to duct-tape to a desk-chair as a sacrifice to the " violent intruder" , should he make it to the third floor social-science department. Finally, the lockdown is called off, after coming to the personal conclusion that Al-Qaeda itself had activated a sleeper cell, and had been firing mortars into Asscrack of Nowhere Michigan. Either way, back to business as normal.
Later that day, a good friend of mine runs up to me on the bus, wild eyed and shouts " IT WAS FUCKING BILL!" as loud as possible.
Bill is a mutual friend of ours, and is a recently unemployed ex-Dell worker, the father of a couple illegitimate children, a career criminal, and a six foot five heavy alcoholic.
Suffice to say, he' s an all around nice guy.
Now, according to the news report on the link below, at this time on Friday, it said the following:
" Mentally unstable man barricading himself in his home, resisting arrest, and threatening passerby with an assault-style weapon" .
The article' s changed, now that they know they made an ass of themselves, but on to what actually happened.
Bill used to work nights, so he sleeps during the day. He also drinks heavily during the day. So Bill, shitfaced, was out on his porch shooting birds with an air rifle.
After finishing off his beer, and shooting a couple birds, he went back inside and fell fast asleep in an alcoholic stupor. The police surrounded his house, called his phone and tried to reach him by bullhorn. Having drank copious amounts of alcohol, he slept through the whole ordeal.
He wakes up, gets another phonecall, and walks right out of the house, casual as could be.
The " full" story, and the news clip, complete with my buddy' s mum being interviewed at the
LINK.